First of all ... Happy New Year, and welcome 2010.


While waiting for Midnight and the start of 2010, I watched a copy of "Tales from EarthSea" [link] that I got from my brother.

It was a generally well made and entertaining watch, but I'm not here to review the film.

What caught my attention was that part of the core plot of the story was all about the balance between life and death and how Death was necessary to maintain the balance of life. The Good Guy fought for the preservation of the natural cycle of Death, and the Bad Guy fought for eternal life.


Even though I knew this was a very, very old concept and has been used in many stories and legends before, for some reason seeing it in a Studio Ghibli film (or recent popular media in general) made my heart sink a little bit.

This is because, my own largest, most complex and most exiting (supposedly "Original") story universe "Tomes of Oscar County", uses that very same premise as it's main pivotal plot point ... or at least one of them.

The primary recurring themes in my story are "FAMILY" ( and all manifestations of what "Family" means, and it's value), "Powerful Innocence" (the revelation that it is not always those who possess the most strength and power who have the greatest influence), and the Balance between the very forces of "LIFE & DEATH" (quite literally).


The climax of my whole massive trilogy (should I ever write it), would be, as I have been writing it so far, a battle between two characters who become like GODS, with the very fabric of existence in the palms of their hands ... and the *Supposed* "BAD GUY" trying to unravel the balance so that all can live forever and those whom have been lost to death can be brought back to life and reunited with loved ones (seems like not such a bad thing, doesn't it?), while the "GOOD GUY", in spite of having lost close loved ones whom he would very much like to see again (whom they have multiple opportunities to bring back in the course of the last chapter), has to fight against him in order to preserve the cycle of Death and mend the fabric of existence which has been torn.

... did I mention they have developed a complicated "Father/Son" relationship over the course of several centuries ... and both have relatively young daughters (or great-granddaughters) whose mothers have died in unjust ways, tied up in the whole mess?


Anyway ... the point I'm getting at is, I thought I was trying so hard to come up with a story that was a little different from what everyone else was doing lately. However, it seems the harder I try to make my story "DIFFERENT", the more it suddenly seems to look like a Rip-Off of something someone else has already done before.



Even with a dead Pirate who was once married to a Ninja Queen (of sorts) captaining the barge of the dead in the afterlife, which is actually not a boat at all but the shadow manifestation of a destroyed STARSHIP, from which a 50 foot tall robot originated, whom was actually just one of 300+ panels of the ships hull and has fought in 1,000 plus years of interplanetary wars and is one of the greatest warriors in all recorded history, even though he was built to be a gardener (seriously)...

... and the one who brings peace and unity to the universe is a geeky, Cowboy hat wearing Asian guy from earth named BOB ("Robert", actually) whose greatest accomplishment before being thrust into outer space was modifying his old Gremlin into a hobby tuner squad car for his job as a Mall Cop and honorary deputy of Oscar County ...

... and a singing, guitar playing Werewolf and a guy wearing an enchanted ("Possessed") French Maids Dress help take down one of the biggest, meanest supernatural "New World Order" super-villains in the world (SEVERAL of them, actually) ...


I STILL feel like I've not come up with anything ORIGINAL.



I thought that maybe by allowing my story to become COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS, I might just maybe be able to make it feel fresh and original somehow.

... but really ... it just feels like true "ORIGINALITY" is just impossible.


Every possible story has already been told (even the crazy ones).

I have uploaded many of these same pictures to my gallery several times before, and for some reason deleted them again each time. (I'm not sure why ... It's not like I have an upload limit or anything)

I think I am going to start uploading a bunch of the best of my old works I made back in my artistic peak (late 1990's) when I used to be far more artistically active.

It is pretty much all monochrome pencil sketches and drawings done back in my Jr.High and High School days during classes and at home when I should have been doing homework.

They may not be spectacular, but sadly, they are still my best works because I've made little effort to practice my art since then.

I will be uploading them all to my "Scraps" gallery, but will link to them with a folder in my main gallery. --> [link] <--

I had considered cleaning them up and re-tracing the line art with cleaner, darker pen lines ... but since they are so old, I think I will just upload the dirty scans "As-Is" and leave it at that. (It really just doesn't feel worth all that extra effort)

Anyway ... ENJOY,I guess.

Generic Journal Entry to Bump Last journal off my Front Page.

These are not the Droids you are looking for.

... Move Along ... Move Along ...

I have been going over my most recent sketching exercises and art-works, and I have come to a frustrating conclusion that I simply can not deny any more.

Contrary to what the submissions in my gallery might suggest, "I Don't Know How To Draw". If I once knew, I have forgotten.

Those images I have submitted to DA are artistic anomalies ... they are images which, by fluke chance, turned out looking like they are at an artistic level a step or two higher than my actual normal abilities. My sketches usually look much worse than that, even when I try really hard.

I have been in denial about this for YEARS now, convincing myself that the opposite was true, and these are the product of just casual fancy which I could easily best with a few hours of hard, serious effort.

I tried and tried ... and failed. My recent "Best Efforts" look like the art I did back in the 1990's.


Where I am going with this is ... in spite of my EPIC Ideas for an original Graphic-Novel Trilogy called "Tomes of Oscar County", and equally complex ideas for a StarFox Fan-Comic called "Lylat R&D" (and numerous other ideas coming to me all the time), I can't help but accept that I simply lack the skills, experience and ability to bring any of them to life at this time.

If I tried using only what my current abilities allow, the result would not even come CLOSE to representing the value and potential any of my ideas are worth to me. It is hard to create a sense of "EPIC", when as a 28 year old man, I still draw like a Jr. High Art Class Student.

I am able to LEARN to be as good as I want to be, with practice. I know I could. However, I seem to lack the needed emotional motivation to practice and gain those skills. I know I SHOULD ... but I just can't get myself to do it.


On the other hand ... I seem to have no difficulty WRITING all about any ideas I may have.

For example, last night I stayed up for HOURS writing pages and pages about the story and gameplay for a retro-themed Comedy-Action-Platformer game trilogy (in 8-Bit, 16-Bit and Modern-Stylized installments) tentatively called "The White Night". (Intentionally spelled "Night" and not "Knight", because he dresses in White shining armor, and TRIES to slay monsters and save maidens, but he was never actually Knighted, but is just named "Night". In fact ... the Maiden has to save HIM as part of the first game.)

All of that was inspired by just listening to a Re-Mix of some music from Castlevania, and thinking about an insignificant bit of backstory from my "Tomes..." story, involving a characters favorite videogame series. So ... I elaborated upon the vague character and invented the WHOLE SERIES (as it would have evolved from the 8-bit to current gen eras).

I will never make a videogame on my own, let alone Three. It's just ridiculous. However, I just can't stop myself from dreaming up stuff like this.

I have a never ending flow of inspiration, and no suitable outlet yet that does any of them justice.



Maybe I should just drive out thoughts of making COMICS/Graphic-Novels, Videogames and Movies (with grand musical soundtracks), and try to train my brain to think in terms of BOOKS.

... I have been told I am good with words ... sometimes. At least that is something I don't have as much trouble starting and working on.

My primary hesitation about that is ... I really like DeviantArt, and would love to share my creations here ... and D.A. has a Literature and Prose category ... but I Never, Ever, EVER read anyone elses writings or poetry or whatever ... and I doubt many others do either.


If I DID write a "Novel" style story, rather than try to make a comic/graphic-novel out of these absurdly huge stories and army sized casts, would it even be worth my time to eventually submit it to DA? Would anyone Read them?

... if not, what WOULD be the appropriate venue?



I am not Giving Up on visual art or anything like that ... I am just coming to realize that I need some SERIOUS Help with improving my artistic capacities before anything so grand as what I have been suggesting is even POSSIBLE for me to do.


In short .. I SUCK ... and I'm not getting any better staring at (and Fave-spamming) the deviations of other artists who are better than me all day long.


Then again, an old idea has begun to become more interesting to me again, involving a humorous Transformation themed series called "+RANZphig", about a guy who is trying to learn all there is to know about the secrets of metamorphosis, and transformation themed legends from around the world.

... but I don't know HOW to draw a decent TF sequence (something that would inevitably occur in every chapter of the series, as ... well ... that is the POINT)


"GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH...!!!"

... my brain is just EXPLODING with so many ideas, and I want to Share every single one of them with EVERYBODY ... but I don't know HOW.


I could seriously do a weekly "Random Inspiration" Blog, detailing in exhaustive long chapters on the ideas I've had recently and never run out of things to write about. I already do it in pencil and paper in my private Journal/Diary. ... but unorganized, non-linear brain storms don't usually make for very entertaining (or easy to understand) reading.

Again ...

*Charlie Brown Scream* "AAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGHHHHHHHHHH...!!!" */Charlie Brown Scream*

Just FYI, I just updated my description for my Pending StarFox Fan-Comic "Lylat R&D" in case anyone is curious.

Just a Fore-Warning ... it's a little LONG.

I would like to know what everyone thinks about it so far.

Good Idea? Bad Idea?

... wanna help me make it happen?


Please leave a comment if you have any thoughts ... even "This sounds awesome ... please make it" means a lot to me if you like my ideas, but have nothing else to say.

... on the other hand, if you don't like StarFox Fan-Fiction ... why even bother clicking the link?


The description can be found HERE --> [link] <--